I am a horrible gift receiver, just ask my husband. I can give gifts all day long. I love to ponder over the person I am buying for, thoughtfully roam the isles of Target with them in mind, buy the perfect item, and wrap it with love and care, then watch with child-like giddiness as they unravel the paper and ribbon. It gives me great joy. So, Christmas leaves me torn. I adore blessing my 4 kids with things they have spied on commercials on Disney channel between bad cartoons. I barely sleep on Christmas Eve in anticipation of giving to those I adore. But, I hate receiving. I loathe it.
My poor husband has impeccable taste, and is such a fabulous gift giver. No matter how well he has done at picking me out a gift, I always open it as if he has just bought me underwear. I never seem to have the correct spontaneous reaction when I open my gift. I cannot conjure up the appropriate amount of excitement or surprise. It isn’t that I don’t love or appreciate the gift, not at all! I don’t know what it is. I just feel awkward as the receiver.
Because of my aversion to receiving, it took me a long while to realize that God was sending me something, something just for me.
It was birds.
About a year ago, I was going through a very difficult time. I was spending a lot of time thinking, praying, reading my Bible, and to be honest, crying. During these moments I would always notice a bird flying by, perching on a branch, or a fence post. Just sitting a moment and then fluttering off again. Of course, at first I thought nothing of it. But, what caught my attention was it wasn’t just any bird. Each time it was a spectacular bird. In the backdrop of our West Texas ranch, surrounded by red dirt, cedar trees, and dusty skies, each bird stuck out in a resounding bright red, blue, or yellow. There was no missing it.
The first few fascinated me, but I did not see them for what they were. And then as they arrived almost daily, I began to recognize them as gifts from God. And as I did, they came more frequently. When I finally received the gift, the abundance grew.
Each time I was the only witness to their ascending, and descending from my view. Always unexpected, they would appear out of nowhere and I would feel His love. This year He has sent me hundreds of colorful reminders. Sometimes when I am on my porch, or just sitting in my living room looking out the window one will fly by. Other times it is not so still. I might busy working on my computer or driving in my car with the noise of four passengers and my mind full of things to do, I will see one. I pause for a moment and smile, and thank Him.
He sees me.
He loves me.
He wants me to know.
You cannot convince me of coincidence, or chalk it up to my wild imagination.
There is too much joy in these tiny presents from my Father. I fully receive this gift from Him and I have genuine thanksgiving and graciousness as they fly by. I am not awkward and shy about it. When you learn to receive His gifts and believe His promises, everything changes.
Suddenly He is everywhere, in everything. It’s not about my worthiness, because it isn’t a reward. It is a gift, it is about Him, the giver. It’s about His grace. He has everything, and you are His. Just as I want to bless my kids with the newest gadget or toy they beg for, how much more abundantly does my heavenly Father want to bless me with every good and perfect thing (Matt 7:11)? I have learned to say to Him “I receive this blessing”. Instead of questioning it, or thinking I don’t deserve it. I just receive.
And thank you Lord for sending birds and not kittens.
Enter His Rest, Stacey
James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadow.”
Have you heard? I have a PODCAST with my sister JAMI AMERINE. You can check it out HERE!!!